She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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