batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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