ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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