At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
When are your genitals available?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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