When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
