well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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