Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
