Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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