You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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