The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
