You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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