Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
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So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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