Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We had sex on a dog bed..
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
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