I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
