Jerry, you need to find god
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
