Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
