That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
