Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
