I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
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its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
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doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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