how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
