Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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