my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
What a dumb baby whore.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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