We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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