I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
