"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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