Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Boobs are out for the taking
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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