i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
where does the pee come out of this thing
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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