the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
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I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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