college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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