she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
BRING THE BAGELS
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
