The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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