The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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