she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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