Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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