This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
