Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
