what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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