Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize