i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
