So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
