At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
