AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
