How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
