Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The struggles of a small town man whore
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
