Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
