Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
