Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
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By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
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Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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