I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
