Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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