Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
