I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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