I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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