Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She's the barista slut.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
