My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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