This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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