guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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