careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
