My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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