PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
