This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
It's just like the Real World with babies
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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