Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
