Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
