There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
