It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
