It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
