Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
