just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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