i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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